Dear Pets…

I will be unavailable for a couple of days. This was forwarded to me (I added the pictures). It’s worth sharing, so I leave you with this…



Dear Dogs & Cats:  
*The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

  *The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.  Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.  

*I cannot buy anything bigger than my bed I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

* For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!  If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years…canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is 

Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat. I cannot stress this enough.
*Finally, in fairness & honesty, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
    
*TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN:
 (1)  They live here…you don’t.
 (2)  If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 
    That’s why they call it “fur”-niture. 

(3) My pets are a lot more likable than most people. 
(4)  To you, they may just be animals.  To me, they are adopted kids who are short, furry, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.



*Always remember: dogs and cats are ‘easier’ than kids because they: 
     (1) eat less, 
     (2) don’t ask for money all the time,     

     (3) are easier to train, 
     (4) normally come when called,     

     (5) never ask to drive the car, 
     (6) don’t hang out with bad people;     

     (7) don’t smoke or drink,     
     (8) don’t want to wear your clothes,
     (9) don’t follow the latest trends,     
     (10) don’t waste your money “finding themselves”
     (11) appreciate all you do
     (12) love unconditionally

 
 

16 thoughts on “Dear Pets…

  1. Yes the bed comment I always find myself in that balled up position not wanting to stretch my legs out because they are laying on them & will wake up wait a minute “THEY” don't have to work in the morning so oops just took over my own bed, it had to be done. Life without pets….well would be so dull so God Bless our pets and how better our lives are with them, great post :}

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  2. Love this one: “there is no secret exit from the bathroom!” – I think it's a guarding thing though – my three cats come in to protect me from whatever it is that might come up through the drains.

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  3. Great post.. love the line “they live here you don't”

    we once had someone staying here who made a less than nice comment about how they had to adjust their actions to suit Alex's needs. Payback was a bitch. he must have sensed something and pooped in their shoes!

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  4. I have read these before, but find them to be soooo true over and over. The added pictures are perfect and give credence to the rules :). I love my pets unconditonally in return (and yours too)and that is not an easy thing to do for humans, right? Be safe, see you when you get home …

    Andrea

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  5. I love the houserules! These ARE my kids, they live here! Yes, the house is furry, if you don't like cats, I'm sorry. If you're allergic, I'm sorry too… I'll meet you somewhere else. But no, I cannot get rid of my cats to accomodate you! I love them! 🙂

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